Black and Yellow

Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow...No I'm not talking about the Steelers or Awkward Dry Spell's penchant for Pittsburgh, but indeed the party we went to on friday night. Racist? Maybe, but hey i think living with Online Dater is starting have its affects. 

Anyways, my coworker's friend Soo (pronounced Sue) invited us to a housewarming party in the Financial District. Soo always refers to her male love interest's as "Pets" and consistently references other potential talent as "High Quality Males" or HQM's. She also struggles with her english at times, despite her MBA professor status, and is one of the most entertaining people Coworker has introduced me to in New York thus far. Soo had promised the group a nice crop of HQM's, hence all of our excitement at the idea of spending Friday evening at some raging house party with free booze and hot bros....

However, upon arrival (after happy hour) it seemed that the crowd was all 30+ and let's just say not our type. So, what did we do? Leave? Hells no. Alcohol and mexican food was in front of us so we naturally made a spectacle of ourselves by dancing in the corner of the living room while double fisting Samoas and sucking down concoctions mixed up by Coworker that tasted like Chanel N°5 (note to all: Absolut Brooklyn + Bacardi Limon + Lemonade is not a good combo).  

Disco lights were a flowin' (note above) and we chatted up the crowed, mostly by telling male partygoers that we were indeed upscale escorts. Conversation went a little something like this:

Awkward Dry Spell: "Do you know how much we charge a night?" 

Guy: "Uhh..."

Online Dater: "About $5,000." 

Me: "Do you know how much i can bend for $5,000?" 

Guy: Stares blankly. 

I kid you not...and it's only 9pm... 

After deciding that we had had enough, we said our tearful goodbyes and headed for the bar. Online Dater had a potential gentleman caller in the wings of Central Bar so the plan was to rendezvous there. Yet, Awkward Dry Spell insisted on dragging me to the Duane Reade in order to pick up a hair straightener and razors to "freshen up" first. Honestly? Who are you hooking up with tonight? Let's be honest, you have a nickname for a reason... I actually didn't object because I had my laptop with me and clearly my MacBook Pro was not going to make the best wingman. That and it'd probably end up covered in vodka soda (splash of cranberry). 

A quick face-plant and freshen up and an hour later we were out. Too bad Awkward Dry Spell lasted about 5 minutes before deciding she indeed wanted to go home and the rest of the group scattered, leaving only Online Dater and I to dance the night away with ghetto black guys.... All in all I'd say the evening was an epic success. Just another day in the liiife. 

xo BDH